What bitter sweet may look like.

The reality is finally kicking in that soon I will be married and out of my parents' home. Of course we all know I will find my way back here for reasons that do not make any sense (passing by on my way to the gym, home alone, or just to feel loved again) because clearly I will miss this place! I have lived in this home for about 23 out of the 24 years of my life, so you can imagine all the memories this home holds (good and bad). Living at home, I had my moments when I said "I can't wait to leave, I can't deal with the dysfunction, we are too different" and I am sure many of you have spoken these words before, but now that reality is truly kicking in and it is bitter sweet. I am moving onto having a new life and creating my own family which is great, yet I am sad that I have to leave the only home I have known for 23 years.

I also had a conversation with my younger cousin about the crazy things we would do as a child, and then it hit me. No my parents did not always agree with some things I did (C's on the report card, dropping out of college to only find my way back and graduating with a Bachelors, coming home at 6 am tripping on the floor because I was beyond intoxicated, piercing every part of my body, and the list goes on), but my parents gave me an amazing life and truly gave me freedom to be myself which helped me grow into the amazing woman I am today.

As I child, teen and young adult, I was always given just enough. As a child I had the ability to engage is crazy things that most parents would not allow. My parents always saw it as I was not causing any harm and just having a good time. Although they were not perfect and did annoy me and drag me on obnoxious long car rides to random places, at the time I disliked them for this, but now I realize they helped me create amazing memories with friends/family that I can never replace. As I find myself leaving home, this home will forever hold a piece of my heart. This home has witnessed so many important aspects of my life. From bubble baths in the tub as I attempted to swim with my bubble mohawk (which I can no longer swim in the tub because my legs are clearly too long for that), the tears, the fights, the breakups with nasty boyfriends, the trips, the falls, the birthday parties, the parental fights between one another, Christmas parties, Christmas days, the lovely times spent with my grandparents.. this house truly holds everything that I am, and I pray to god that my parents never ever consider selling it. This house contains my whole life.

People always warned me that you would appreciate everything once you became an adult, and I finally see this as true. You never realize things end, and you grow and need to move on with life, but now I see that this is the truth. The thought of no longer being a part of this home breaks my heart and brings tears to me eyes, because this was my home for 23 years; it's like ending a relationship!

I am very different than my parents, but everyday I find myself acting so much like my mother and father. I guess I will always take a piece of them with me. I will forever be grateful for the life they gave me, all the good experiences and all the bad experiences because at this very moment, I am exactly where I want to be and who I want to be, and I am perfectly imperfect.

T

Wake Up Call!

I have been so busy lately, that I have not had time to update ! The wedding is a little over a month away, and I am swamped. We finally got the keys to our place so now it is time to paint, and clean up. Furniture has been picked out and now we have to await delivery, and I am super excited.

Anyways. People have always warned me about life outside of Mommy and Daddy's home, and married life. I never doubted or underestimated these words because deep down I always knew there was truth behind them, but now reality is hitting me. Total wake up call!!!! Time to totally put on the big girl pants and become a grown up/wife/house keeper. I always knew this day would come, but I feel as if it has arrived quicker than I thought. So many thoughts running through my mind, and so many things to do. Time to pay grown up bills, and do grown up things.

It is a new experience for me, and of course new experiences and changes take some time to get used to, but I know I will adjust and be fine. I know I will go through these experiences and changes with my new life partner (good thing I am not going through them alone!). I know it won't be easy, but it will be worth it and we will make it.


PS- All you need is love =)

My Sisters :)

Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.  ~Author Unknown

What is a soul mate? Okay I found him, actually I will be marrying him in April, but my other soulmates.. those are just my sisters. No, wait..I am an only child. How can this be possible?

My friends are my sisters who are my soulmates. I say this for many reasons. My true girlfriends are always there for me. They know me when I don't know myself, they laugh with me, make me laugh, cry with me, and make me cry. They stand by my side, defend me to the end, and always have my best intentions at heart. They love me, care for me, bring out the best in me, remind me that we aren't perfect.. but we will be okay. My girlfriends are my soulmates, and I do not know what I would do without them.

I have grown to love these girls with 150% of my heart, and I cannot imagine my life without my girlfriends. I often here girls say "I don't have best friends, I don't believe in them because they only backstab you". Now, that is just the wrong mentality to have. What is life without a few close girlfriends? Life is miserable. I do not know what I would do without these girls. The girls I call to ramble on about my life problems (work, school, relationship, in-laws, or whatever the tragedy may be at the time), to drink coffee with me, to celebrate my accomplishments, to watch a movie, and to simply have a moment and just be me! 100% me...comfy clothes, no makeup, and indulging in fattening food like a real girl.

I love my soul mates :) They are always 100% honest with me, and tell me the truth because my best is their concern, and I can always count on and trust these girls. I cannot imagine my life without having girlfriends (especially those that you have known for several years and know you at your best...and especially at your worst). I just want to say a big THANK YOU to those special girls out there. There is no need for me to even mention a name..because they clearly know in their heart who they are. Thank you for being you, and for being my soul mate. I know that no matter what, we will be a part of each others lives, and I can always count on you.


<3

Let's Talk.

As marriage is right around the corner, there has been a load of stress/problems/situations that have been arising, and like it or not.. I have to face those problems. The church requires that we meet with another couple, a couple that has been married for a long period of time, and we discuss problems and concerns. Today I was feeling extremely down and as if I cannot go on any further. There were a load of problems that I held in, okay so I did not hold them in..I tried communicating to my other half, but he tends to not listen to what I am saying. Today I was basically required to release all my thoughts and feelings because this was the whole purpose of the meeting..and boy do I feel 200% better! I walked out of the meeting confident, happy, and ready for what the life throws at our soon to be marriage. Sometimes you need to talk it out so that both parties are on the same page, but it truly did help the both of us because we had another couple there to remind us both of what we were/are doing correctly and incorrectly. Today was a learning experience, and I am realizing how much the church/retreats/meetings are helping our relationship, and helping me as a person.

Goodnight =)

Let's Make Up ...

Check out the site below for AWESOME makeup ideas.


http://frantasticmakeup.com/blog/

Fallen Ice Cream.

"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. " ~Jim Fiebig

This quote is amazingly true! No matter how old you get, it really sucks when you are eating ice cream and BAM! It falls on the floor. That feeling is like a punch to the stomach (atleast to me). This can relate to other foods as well. You grab that piece that looks beyond scrumptious..your mouth waters as you bring it to your mouth..and it falls. Life is pretty much over. Well recently my ice cream has continued to fall over and over again. No matter how old we get, our ice cream will fall from the cone, and people may even push the "ice cream" off the cone and cause disappointment in your life. You find yourself having expectations of people, especially during an important time in your life. You put your faith and confidence in friends and family members, yet their inner face starts to shine and you realize who these people really are. People can be extremely cold and selfish, and do not appear to have your best intentions at heart. Some people forget that the world is not about them, nor does it revolve around them, but these people are too ignorant to realize this. I can't let these evil ice cream destroyer persons turn my smile into a frown. It won't happen. I will buy new ice cream and put a new scoop on my cone, or I will simply pick up the ice cream from the floor (5 second rule/a few germs won't hurt), and move on. You will NOT make my ice cream fall from the cone.

In Your Face !!!

I am a huge fan of any reality show that has to do with the infamous Kardashians.  As much as I think these girls take things too far, I continue to find myself tuning in each week (and my guilty pleasure – watching re-runs over and over), simply to watch these beautiful ladies. Within the past few weeks I started realizing there was something different about Kim Kardashian. Did she get her breasts done? Negative. Did she get lipo? Negative. So I asked myself “what is different about her?” I could not put my finger on the answer! My fiancé continued to tell me she had work done, yet I could not see where this work was done. It was time for Google. Google can answer any question that your mind poses and this is a true story! I did my research and found these:

AH HA !! I said to myself..there we go! Her eyes: Kim used to have these gorgeous large eyes which continuously reminded me of Jasmine from Aladdin, but now she appears to have a very tight look with smaller chinky eyes.  The nose – there are no words to describe it. I must add, it is very cute, but it is also totally different than what she was born with. I then ask myself “why?” Kim, you were beautiful before.. you were pretty much perfect in my eyes, what made you do such a thing? Based on everything I have witnessed through T.V., Kim clearly has an issue with turning 30. She made it very clear she is getting old and appears to fear this aging. I guess she went ahead with plastic surgery to make her appear more youthful? I’m not sure what her goal was. She is still gorgeous, but she does appear a bit… tight? Yay or Nay? Where are the fine lines and wrinkles? Non existent!

Okay, so I thought I moved on from the whole plastic surgery issue, but then suddenly reality (literally) hit me again. Last night was the premiere of the new season of The OC Housewives. Everything appeared to be fine, but then the after show came on. I was frightened. Tamra ! Her face is something similar to that of a Good Year tire! Her forehead is screaming "hey look at me", her eyebrows clearly do not move, and those lips... well last night they appeared to be worse, and did she get braces? I understand the concept of wanting to keep up with your looks, but it is VERY clear that excessive plastic surgery (specifically Botox) becomes VERY noticeable and we will talk about you and laugh at you.

Clearly plastic surgery (excessive use/abuse), has something to do with a mental disorder. Maybe something in the area of Body dysmorphic disorder?

According to MayoClinic.com, BDD can be described as the following:

Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can't stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don't want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called "imagined ugliness." When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied. Body dysmorphic disorder is also known as dysmorphophobia, the fear of having a deformity.

I believe BDD is for those insane housewives you may run into at the gym during your morning Yoga/Pilates, or at the nail salon during a manicure. Those that have the super tight face with no expression what so ever. You cannot determine what they are thinking or feeling, kind of like a serial killer with a personality disorder. They have lips that take over the bottom half of the face, and you clearly know they have done several procedures back to back. How can these individuals not see that something is wrong? They do not realize they have had enough. Hey! I know someone like that..Heidi Montag.

:)

Well Hello There !

After contemplating back and forth for many days, I decided it is time to revive the blog and start this thing all over again. Why not? I always have something to say, interesting things that I learn, and a few people that wouldn't mind reading the things my mind absolutely HAS to say. This isn't the best first post, but it will do for now.

I am sure when I return from the gym I will have something to share, usually about: bad hygiene, abnormal botox/lip injections, and old men with a bad case of tight gym shorts.


Till tonight....

PS: Hope you like the music :). For many years I have found myself being stuck in the wrong generation. Clearly I am from an era between 1940 - 1960. Not sure why I am living in 2011.